Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Marital Advice for the Fly Fisherman

I'm going to try to get to the bench today and tie some flies.  Tomorrow, I'll write up something about what I'm tying, give some photographs of the steps and talk about what I use the flies for and how I fish them.  I'll be talking about the tinsel fly (minnow streamer) and maybe some poppers.

For today, I'm going to go off the deep end and talk about the subject at hand which is the result of a long history of email banter with one of my best friends.
Like many guys who spend a great deal of time fishing, I meet lots of people.  I have hundreds of friendly acquaintances.  However, the ones I consider true friends number exactly 5.  True friends are those with whom you feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts.  These are the people who will really laugh with you instead of at you.  These are also the people who will laugh "at" you when it's appropriate and can tell you the truth about yourself an still remain your friends.
Well, I have a friend (one of the 5) with whom I've had an ongoing email banter about marital advice.  He has a ton of "home projects" that his loving wife seems to believe are more important than fishing.  How many married guys share this same situation?  I know I do.  My friend's projects are such silly things as repairing the roof after a hurricane blew it away, replacing siding on his house the same hurricane blew off, and taking care of a flood in the basement of his house after a water line break. (how many guys are fortunate enough to have their own trout stream in the basement and his wife actually wanted it to be stopped. women!).
OK, because of the sage wisdom I've shared with him over the years, he suggested in a recent email that I offer the same sage advice to the folks who may accidentally stumble upon this blog while they were hopelessly lost in cyber space.

One such piece of wisdom I've shared is the "cave man" approach.  This approach goes something like this: "Woman, I'm the man of this house and by golly, I'm going fishing.  I'll be home when I'm home and I, by golly, expect to have a hot meal on the table when I get back."  No, it's never worked for me either and the most common reaction is waking up to a paramedic asking if I know my own name.

Another one is the subterfuge approach.  In this approach, one has fly fishing gear always hidden away in his vehicle.  When the wife has a project, there is always something one needs from Home Depot.  On the way to Home Depot, or on the way home from Home Depot, the fly fisherman makes a slight detour to the nearby stream or lake to catch a few fish.  All the wife really needs to know is the traffic was horrible and the lines were quite long.  This approach works until one gets caught.  At that point, it no longer works.

My personal favorite is the "guilt" approach.  One word of caution though.  The line "my old girlfriend let me go fishing anytime I wanted", or "my ex wife let me go fishing anytime I wanted" is probably not the best way to start the guilt trip.  See above mention of waking up to paramedics asking if you remember your name.

So, my friend thought that I had so much sage wisdom to share that I might as well share it with the world.  So, from time to time, I may decide to share some pearl of wisdom you all can use with your wives (or husbands for those lady fly fishers out there) the next time some home project stands in the way of fishing.

It may range from the "cave man/woman" to the "guilt trip" to the "this is THE best week of the year to go fishing, I"ll do my projects next week" and my favorite, "fishing's about over for the year, I have to get as much time on the water the next 2 weeks before winter sets in".  All of these approaches (especially the last 2) have been known to work to one extent or another.

Next blog post will probably be about some flies I've been tying recently for warm water fishing.  I promise this blog will get back to fishing soon.

In the meantime, I'll leave you all with a few photos to remember what fishing looks like.

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